“Nobody ever became an inspiration playing it comfortable and safe”
God answers all questions except : “Why me?”. He will want you to figure it out by yourself. ________________________________________________________________________________
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference between the two” -The Serenity prayer ______________________________________________________________________________
1)You don’t get to decide this. “This is how I am ,this is how things should go in my life because people around me get all this”. You are not the one calling all the shots in the universe. You can change things. But you cannot expect things to change by themselves without putting in work. Somebody out there is unluckier than you are. Do not always expect miracles. But save them for the best moments.
2)There is no point in saying “Happiness is for the bad guy, not for guys like me”. Well, how do you know he is truly happy?. May be he is just pretending to be. Is he the kind of person you should be jealous of? Why have you not changed till now knowing the other guy is happier?. You know the answer. You stay put with your deepest beliefs if you think they are worth it.
3)Do not expect results too fast: You want to lose weight,improve your networking skills, you want to be regular in your workout, you need to improve your wittiness to handle a bully at college or workplace, all this will not happen in a day. They may not happen in “days” at all. The universe does not keep dates. It gives a damn about our calendar. There exist benchmark stages .All you can do is first put in hearty wholesome work. Later you measure them, not often but regularly. You congratulate yourself not for improvement but for getting so many things done. Your hot streak of improvement may come at anytime, like trying to get taller. Unless you have dumped loads and loads of hard work with an ample dose of rest and probably some working professional advice- Do not expect LUCK and don’t depend on it.
4)Figure out your own rhythm of when you are at your best and when you are not- you may not be good at “to-do” lists, you may be really good when you do things at random. You may or may not be a multi-tasker. You may understand well when you read under candle light. You need not have the same power of concentration as your classmate or your colleague.The point is, you don’t waste time changing your basic abilities and inabilities but tune your efforts to suit your most efficient self. Your resume may not be as full as your friend’s but the point is that something there is good enough for being paid and genuine.
5)Talk to people who mean so much to you when misunderstood- you will perform poorly when you can’t fix personal issues- with a spouse or a best friend, a sibling or most importantly- a parent. You don’t yell at them and expect them to understand all that went wrong but talk it – no matter how dramatic it gets. You love them, make them understand that. You don’t fix things by having a middleman. Keep an open line of communication, earn their trust, keep it.
6)Your life is bad? You know that lots of lives out there are.. May be not in the same tone of bad or the same situation of depression but bad is still bad. You can’t handle your life, well you cannot exchange it with another. Thing is your life isn’t bad. It’s averagely bad. If it were that bad, like homeless or hungry or lost a limb or a loved one – you would not be sitting here reading this. Highly unlikely.
7)“Everyone has some fun so you must do something that you don’t heartily approve of”- you want to do something and feel bad about yourself or you would pick a nice pillow cry and feel better. You choose.Crying out is not weakness. No problem.
8)Do not blame your decisions or yourself for the bad results too much When you decided over something like a college change or a relationship decision, you did it because you thought it would be okay or because some other factors pushed you. Its hardly unlikely that anything else would have happened given your personality or nature like you may be sensitive or get inclined to others’ opinions or you are a safe decision maker. See everybody makes ugly mistakes that mess their lives up. Some stories come out. Some don’t. Don’t get judgmental about others but don’t be so hard on yourself. Its ok… what next?
9)Do not live and relive traumatic experiences in your head .Talk to somebody who won’t pity you but would understand when you have had an experience you cannot easily talk about. Do not expect it to motivate you. For it is full of pain and bad memories. No dose of self-pity is good. Take some time. It would have changed you. Don’t let it kill you. You are not the only one. Blame nobody. Do not harbor hatred. Jumping to revenge won’t help. You are okay and you will be. You are brave for you have survived.
10) Do not take advice that you don’t ask for When you don’t ask for advice and somebody gives a pretty offensive opinion, that just lives and dies as an opinion. Please don’t sulk about it for the whole day or years- go tell that jerk he is wrong and you don’t need his opinion. If you really respect the person who said that, do tell them, but politely. End it there.
11)Do not be afraid of the things life will force you to do Most of the things a person does in life are those he is “okay” with doing. So do not dread your future. Most of the things you are afraid of won’t happen. May be bad things will surprise you but what is there in being afraid of things you can do nothing about, if something can be done- think if its ok, give it a try. Because you have no hope of victory- do you want to change? Decide.
12)Embarrassments happen -so what?? Celebrities live with huge embarrassments . They move on. All you have to do is become okay with some embarrassment in a small circle of people. Be mature. You are .But be mature again. Give yourself a reason to accept it. Answer questions. Show a happy face. Be happy with the people you feel warm about. There will be some random person you can share things to.
You won’t feel alone about it.
13)Not lucky with love and marriage? Understand what is stopping you. Have the guts to change it. The problem is you and me are afraid about every one of our human relationships. Any solution to a grown up that excludes suicide or drugs is right in front of your eyes. You are just too afraid to pick it up. Or you are afraid of the consequences. You play too much by the rules to be blamed some day else. If it will do good, why not try an alternative solution, a non-conventional one? Nobody is going to stand with you when you feel too bad. Because they won’t know it. You cannot go against the ones you love- very noble, but you CAN convince them. Nobody is “Impossible to convince” unless he’s a molester or a rapist or a serial killer( which is not easy to spot of course). Try. You love and care about them. You don’t want to be immoral. That’s the best thing about you. But be different. This problem needs you to solve it.
14)Somebody you love is going to get married to someone else? Don’t hate it. Have you told them? If you have, you have done your part.Did they love you back? Do not ask people questions that they don’t want to answer. Big deal. You love them no matter what. There is always another life!. You can’t move on. Its okay, get married anyway. Be somebody’s happiness. You don’t want to sulk your whole life away. Give it a try. I can’t prove my statement. But you can’t prove I’m wrong either now, can you?
15)People are too sarcastic about your failures and shortcomings?– Confront them but not violently. Sarcasm and wit has never been a one man’s game.’ You have a mouth. Use it. Sarcasm is learn-able and fun.
16)Do not get scared about the way time flows. Time gives a damn about you. May be you should too sometimes. Nothing seems to be improving. You do not see light at the end of the tunnel?. Find a way to bring light. Because only you can. Ask for help.See we have no proof if the universe is a conscious agent trying to make you better and better with experiences. But neither do we have proof if it is NOT either. You believe something good. What is the harm?
17)Do not be afraid of disappointments. There are a million ways to get hurt. Disappointment is just one of them. Somebody does not act the way you expect them to be?. Well, give them the personal space to do the action and face its consequences. Why should you be bothered?. If they want to be with you, they will try, you should not act like you are their only “thing”. Don’t feel so great about yourself. Give people their space.
18)Do not rely on everything books say. There are always exceptions. Even in personality readings. Self-help books are great. But when you do not find the philosophy fitting into your life, find your own or get a new book. But do not be lost with them. You can figure out your life better than any motivational speaker. You just need a push.
19)When people change- give them the space to do it. Something must have happened. The human psyche has evolved so much in the past many many years and the complex combination of any personality is not usually straight or simple. If people choose to be with you, fine. If they do not , not so fine. But okay. You can follow what you believe at your deepest. But it would sound a little narcisstic if you expect others to be. You will waste time worrying.
20)Whether with spouse or kids or mom or dad- you do not force feed your love or concern. If you do, it means you are expecting their attention. Something in return.You put up emotional dramas. Something like business cannot be love. When somebody force feeds it on you, make them understand that it need not be done this way.
21)Make all the sorries told but do not expect forgiveness and do not trouble the person. Explain any stupid thing you may have done to them.
22) Do not get jealous often in love– when your partner tells you somebody looks or dresses better ,tell him or her about somebody who behaves better. It does not imply they plan on leaving you or are bad people. Finish it there. Why carry inferior feelings around?. Even when somebody makes you feel bad- YOU GET UP, DRESS UP and SHOW UP.You don’t end relationships because you suspect. You end the when you “know”. You wait until then. Then move on.
23)You be the change you want the society to have Do not wail on the internet or merely sign internet petitions to get things done. Do not be depressed because of that. You practice and talk to people in real life. When people see things in action, that is when they really think. Take all the social action off the social media. It makes a better impact. Do not rely on just sharing your views. Put them to practice to see how it really works.
24)When you think you must give up and change- think for a moment if you will want to come back- think about why some people look up to you and want to be like you You have come this far- stick on to your principles. Someday you will thank yourself for it . Now though it may seem thin and vague. What is the point in going back when you have come this far?- Is it worth?
25) You are never too young to make a mature decision nor too old to stand up for something or to be happy. There is the biological age and the mental age. Which all may be different from your actual age. If there is no other go but to believe there is a God in the happenings of your life. Believe him. No harm ever comes from believing a bigger force, if there is nothing left to be done
26) Your life is too bad? Think again. – I mean again. If it still looks bad. There has got to be lot of scope for improvement. Things don’t happen sometimes. You make them happen. You love your life for giving you the paint brush.
27) You do not become something because you have a degree or because its on your resume. You do not become a doctor and just sit there. You become a doctor everyday when you wake up. That is when you live as one. When people will truly respect you for your profession ,then is when.
Consistency is the true measure of maturity. No amount of philosophy is. Understand you were here to do big things. If you are ever reading this, you feel you might have had an unfair life. You have a great future. If you are a rebel for the right cause, you are making big changes already. Believe in the impossible. Because you were IMPOSSIBLE too before you were born- but here you are. Now deal with that unfair life