Murphy’s law. Most people wouldn’t have come across this particular law of events ( though not scientifically backed) until they watched Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar. I belonged to that category. What Murphy’s law actually means has different facets and versions but to sum it all up, it’s Murph Cooper’s line “It means something bad will happen” hinting the universe’s thermodynamic property of always moving into a chaotic state. I agreed with it partially because it’s so easy and less time consuming to actually break something as opposed to making it. But look at it from a non-human, unconscious perspective or simply from the perspective of the universe assuming it’s not conscious hence does not really ‘feel’, you see ‘events’ happen. Be it a nuclear meltdown or birth of ten puppies to a husky mother , an event is an event and not a good event or bad event. From the non human perspective Murphy’s law takes another morph that Cooper restates to his daughter “It does not mean something bad will happen,it means what can happen , will happen”
This version of it hit me hard during my early weeks of motherhood, everything was fine one moment and everything would come crashing on me the other. I had felt very unlucky all my life. So motherhood wasn’t God or universe’s way of teaching me a lesson to keep my head low. It has always been low to the best of my knowledge. So there was no exact stroke of bad luck whilst many around me had happier or more blissful lives . My life’s events were independent of others’ . There was nothing relative about them unless I related them to find a reason to worry. I had been counting the broken eggs for 22 long years. What a waste of time! Instead of using the adversities to quiet my inner turbulence and evolve, evolve and evolve from the challenges I bragged, bragged about how weak I was, how impossible my life was until I quiete did the jump against my fears, face to face with them. The best piece of advice to me came from one of my friends at Canada,
“what you can’t control, do not even think about it. What you can control, control fully”
Those words do not strike you hard unless you realise how much time you have wasted worrying, fearing things and procrastinating and drinking coffee to drown the sorrow. The words do not strike you deep unless you realise how far behind are you and how little time you have. They don’t hit you hard until you realise how people with relatively smaller skill sets made it bigger than you just because they were persistent and somehow spoke like they had the best in them. Sometimes you need to knock a 100 doors before 1 opens. I hadn’t knocked even 20.
It is an odd feeling when you realise how you showcase your talents and beliefs to people who would criticise and destroy ideas rather than people who believe, get up and do.
You don’t achieve a dangerously high level of freedom unless you stop worrying about
what other people think about you. By “others ” I mean colleagues, peers, best friends, girlfriend, boyfriend ,your mom, dad, family, spouse etc. Which is harder than anything because most of our lives are spent satisfying them and vying for their approval. So whose approval do you need to measure each step of your life though it may not be big and may be as small as making a perfect cup of tea or dancing with complete balance in front of the mirror? – Yours- your approval.
unless you are satisfied, no amount of impression will satisfy you. No amount of success will feel good because others may feel ” differently ” about it. I gave my sister a piece of advice once , “Don’t take yourself so seriously at school, what’s the point of impressing people who wouldn’t even remember you when you are gone?”
Suddenly leaving high school was analogous to leaving earth to me. I can’t fill the saucer naturally without filling the cup. I needed to feel good first to make others feel the same. Which does not come from beating yourself up and morphing into something new every time somebody throws at you an opinion- even if it is your mom.
you need to love them but not necessarily their opinion.
Once you realise that, like me probably ( it took me until motherhood) you understand quiete scientifically and with sufficient evidence how you attract what you think and get results similar to your bias like quantum physics says about observing.
And – you would have achieved a dangerously beautiful level of FREEDOM.