Heart murmur and troubles

That muscular labyrinthine organ

That was named “the heart”

The books of science of today

Find that that muscular fist-size organ

Sends more signals to

The brain, than the brain to the heart

Don’t I , a poor human know that

Already for it has a magic bind, like a tracker

That wherever my brain may wander

The heart would bring it back

To the place of its own will

The master of the body

Is a question of debate inside me.

You can control the mind

But how will you shackle the noise maker?

Who like a truant school child

Keeps wanting and asking

For the things at THE VENDOR

That are already sold

I say you will not get them

Let us go home

But he maddens me by repeating

No it is mine and it will come

I say no child please let me do my chores

He keeps bringing me back to the things I will not get

AT the cost of my working hours

Sending me on voyages in a little raft

In the sea of imagination , wonder and sometimes peace.

How much more should I beg you?

You are so random dear Heart

You listen to no obvious reason

But you listen with rapt

Attention to the tiniest things around you

Generate in us what they call “Gut feeling”

That often contradicts any sense

Any logic, any reason that may come of help

In a rational world

Why make me look like a foolish lass

When everybody is speeding to win

But to where I still do not see

How you are so cautious and many times right

I cannot judge

I am trying to convert myself

Into the religion of Logic and Reason

But you seem to hold me ever more tighter

Since you knew I was changing

You do not let me sleep

Nor eat peacefully

I always eat and sleep peacefully

But what are you doing to me now Oh Lo!

No amount of browsing for proof against your claims

Seems to silence you

For your louder with every argument with me

When prose was my best bet

You make me write poetry

You are making me a happy child

When I am trying to grow up

You are showing me my own

Instances of childhood open

Inside I feel

Like something is opening

That causes me to breath well

I know its your work

And I am ever grateful to you for that

Oh Random Labyrinthine Castle

What is the secret you hold

When will you ever let me sleep

And be peaceful with myself

Why are you throwing connections afar

When my work and life is here?

Somehow even my brain feels

All is well that ends well

And this story, seems to end well

One way or the other

Please do not make me the jester

At my own court that is all I will plead you

Oh you muscular fist-large master

Of my mind…

Who has been working

Since even long before

My zero(th) birthday

Why did you take a space in my trunk in that hollow

When you are doing the work the one in the head should be doing.

I wonder why, He created the mind and heart apart

Like Yin and Yang

Neither seems complete without the other.

 

The SOUL MATE

Do not kill me, do not kill me

It screamed

What was the “it” will I now explain

Born for one, born for that one alone

Like a birthmark in my soul

8979-Baby-Hands

Birth tied me to the gravity

Of my other half (or so I think/ So I thought for eighteen years)

Somewhere where he or she would be born

Like the rippled waves on the surface

Of a lake rather serene

The lake of events

The lake of time

Events keep pushing me towards

Bring him here

A nucleus of events

Events that would justify why

Atoms decided to give life

To my body

And be the container

Of the soul

That is very real

For it records events

Even after the mortal body

Finds no warmth to spread

As living

Somewhere I know

Deep inside

Somebody born for me

Not because I am a woman

And I need a man

But because I am a being

And I need the other half

I do not know if

He exists

Or I imagine him to exist

And that imagination inspires my walk

So technically

He must exist

To cause and event to happen

The biggest event that happens

Is that tug of the cavity of my

Beating heart when I ponder

Somebody around for me

Years and years searching

Finally knowing

There was going to be no together

With Many claiming they were “him”

No

I’d know it… deep inside

Though my intuitions

Have rather backfired

I’d rather let him not come

Than let you wrong one

Near what I hold sacred

The bond of the soul.

Do not give me she pleaded

A state worse than separation or rather

Death

A state where I know he won’t come

But a state where I have to accept somebody else

The body mind and soul are connected

And if the soul rejects the other , like rejecting

The wrong graft of an organ , during a

“Transplant” what they do on Gaia

My soul will suffer

An immortal death

Like hell comes down to me

When nobody can notice I am dead

I am done screaming

I’d put up a last fight with all that I have

Its okay if I die

For its not suicide

But like a ritual that protects Chastity

Of the soul

You may find me special

But If I do not

Do not dare near me

For a hurt and wounded animal

Knows no mercy to spare

In the face of arrogance.

I envy and praise

Those who embraced

The warmth of the heart

That once wanted the other

Fortunate are those

Who held hands

Once and for all

With the One they love

What is life yet without acceptance of defeat

When I know I am done

I have to accept

And live for the womb

That gave me a body to contain my soul

And that protects a rebel

A prodigal daughter

Till date

You too

Are my other half..

Not because I love you dear mother

But because I am ever in debt.

But I sometimes think

Rather selfishly

“If the right to live denied is one”

“The right to DIE denied is another”

But I have to move about

Like I am alive

Not to pain anyone ever

Again.

Who hears the cries

Of the dumb?

Not many cry like me

So I’d rather look mad

Even if somebody does

Who can help?

I’d rather handle this

All by myself.

I curse myself

For not being able to think normal

All by myself

Rather All by myself

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